|
How many people
will join me in
leveling the playing field?
Our Goal: To
re-write the PGA rules of golf to equalize the noble game for all
players. "We'll level the playing field by taxing the good
players"- Barack Obama.
Nevertheless, challenged players
can't help feeling bad when they hit bad shots. The PGA handicap
system is supposed to equalize the score but nothing equalizes the
personal pain, hurt feelings and damage to self-esteem.
It's time we stop the tears and replace them
with grateful sniveling.
History
Liberal Golf, as we know it, was conceived in the summer of 2002.
It was a drizzly day in Tacoma, Washington and my group was hitting
balls all over the course. We were on the 13th hole and Steve Smelt
had hit a disturbingly bad tee shot [his fourth mulligan for the
day] nearly clipping the head off a squirrel about 75 yds due right
of the tee box.
The ball ricocheted back, zinging right over my head, causing me to
drop to the ground, spinning out of the way. The ball ended up
behind the tee for negative yardage. The look on Smelt's face face
said it all... he was really embarrassed and his feelings were hurt!
After he saw the smirks on our faces, his feelings were really hurt...
bad!
I put my hands over my mouth to keep from guffawing. I didn't
want to add to his discomfort. Unfortunately, that redirected the
air flow through my nose causing my sinuses to forcibly evacuate onto the
back of my hand. Luckily, Smelt had a towel attached to his bag so I
blew my nose on it.
I felt sorry for Smelt. He was obviously embarrassed but there
was nothing anyone could do to alleviate his pain.
The depressing reality of Smelt's predicament welled up in his
eyes. He wasn't having a crappy day, he was a crappy golfer!
How do you fix that?
Smelt teed up for his second shot and I ran for cover. Even the
squirrels shielded themselves on the other side of the tree
trunk.
Smelt's second tee shot disappeared out of sight over the trees on the
right..
"Don't count it", slipped out of my mouth.
In fact, I said: "Steve, just drop the ball on the fairway and
hit from there". Where the hell did THAT come from?
With THAT statement, the world of Liberal Golf
was born!
With the danger past, the squirrels resumed their chuckling and playing
with their nuts. Smelt looked up at them and glared.
Surely, God didn't intend for one of his creatures to go to the golf
course and celebrate all his glory with a crappy, embarrassing day!
It was a stroke of genius. . .on my part. . . LOL!
Out of nowhere, the clouds parted, the heavens opened and a focused beam of light shown down on me illuminating me in the
midst of this gray on gray drizzle. Out of nowhere, a bolt of
lightning flashed with an instantaneous explosion as the million volt
strike blew an 18 inch branch right off the trunk of the old oak tree.
I felt damned good! At that exact moment, my heightened sensitivity and expanded generosity poured forth drowning me in
love. Pure, unadulterated love radiated from my eyes, my hair, my
skin. Think about it: No one will ever feel the shame of a
double bogey again. Those with inadequate clubs will be
enhanced. Many good people will come away from this game
feeling good, self-esteem heightened.
My mind was reeling at the sheer magnitude of this new insight.
By the time we actually "finished" the hole I had already begun
to see ways to fundamentally change the game. Finally, a sense that by simply
imposing change, forcing new rules and allying with known enemies, the brutal,
capitalistic ritual could actually be corrected!. We would level the playing field for everyone,
well, the victims, at least.
It was obvious that we needed a new set of rules. . . an "organic" set of
rules. . . rules that expand and grow with the evolving social requirements. We
needed a sort- of a "New Age" thinking applied to the game.
We needed a new scoring system and, perhaps most importantly, we needed to
establish a structure that celebrated diversity and simultaneously
rewarded players for failure.
We would make adjustments for inconvenient problems out on the course
such as a swing and a miss, or hitting the ball in the water, or
the ball landing in someone's shoe print. Or, simply losing the ball
altogether.
These were issues that had to be addressed and handled
with skill and sensitivity so as not to make it obvious to those less
endowed that we were subsidizing their feelings. FINALLY, we actually had the
power to bring everyone together, in Liberal Golf !
© 2006
|