From the Goracle: "WORSHIP BEFORE ME OR FRY IN HELL!
WAIT, BEFORE YOU FRY IN HELL -- BUY MY CARBON OFFSETS"!
"According to Time magazine,
global warming is 33% worse than we thought.
You know what that means? Al Gore
is one-third more annoying than we thought." --Jay Leno
"Al Gore was speaking at a pep rally in Central Park. Naturally, when you think "pep", you think Al Gore. I have to be careful about this, because Al Gore is, uh, not a dynamic speaker. Halfway through his speech, squirrels were climbing on him." --David Letterman "The big winner of the night was global warming. Everyone jumped on the hybrid bandwagon. But if you ask me, any lowering of emissions they achieved with the limos was canceled out by the amount of smoke they blew up Al Gore's ass." --Stephen Colbert "Albert Gore returned to the Capitol for the first time since winning an Oscar for ... his portrayal of Effie the diva, in 'Dreamgirls.' And while he may no longer be vice president, he is clearly many other things: 'rock star,' 'a personality,' 'the prophet,' the man dubbed 'Goracle'. Gore-stradmus. Gore-magnificent. The Gore-monger. Gore-Mary Abraham. I have over a thousand of these." --Jon Stewart "Al Gore has a plan. He says that if we need to, we can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius" --George Bush, "On fighting global warming". "Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, Gore will be out of party ice." --David Letterman "Former Vice President Al Gore has purchased his own cable
television channel. It's going to be the Al Gore TV network. He said
it's going to be a lot like C-SPAN, but less exciting." —David
Letterman
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