NEW AND IMPORTANT TERMINOLOGY

 It's simply not enough to understand the new golf protocols as outlined by the Progressive Golf Association.  One must speak the lingo.  One must learn how to call various shots and learn the deduction one earns from using the proper terminology:
When you see these shots played call out loudly:  "ROCK HUDSON"
                                                                           "SADDAM HUSSEIN"

If you. . .

missed a putt that looked straight but wasn't.  Call out "ROCK HUDSON".
deduct one stroke

played from one bunker to another. . .call out "SADDAM HUSSEIN".
deduct one stroke

were over clubbed hitting the ball long. . .Call out "Rodney King".
deduct two strokes.

hit a shot straight into the trees.. . Call out "Sonny Bono".
deduct several strokes.

sliced violently. . .Call out "O.J.Simpson"
no penalty


If  you hear someone mumbling "Princess Grace" after you tee off--- you should have used a clean driver.

If someone is mumbling "Princess Di" after you tee off--- you shouldn't have used a bent driver.


A 'Condom' shot - Safe, but didn't feel very good.

A Barak Obama - When nothing else works, HOPE will get you through.
deduct whatever is necessary to feel good about the hole.

An Obama Man Can - Sink a 200 yard bunker shot while signing autographs, giving photo-ops and directing the Tabernacle Choir 
singing "Obama Man Can".

A 'Rush Limbaugh' - EIG (Excellence in Golf).
 add three strokes for God's sake!!
 
A 'Nancy Pelosi' - Way too far left.
deduct...deduct...deduct

A 'Barbara Streisand' - Ugly, but still working.

A 'James Joyce' - A putt that's impossible to read.

A 'Ted Kennedy' - In the water but no penalty.

A 'Pee Wee Herman' - Too much wrist.

A 'Paris Hilton' - A very expensive hole.

A "Henry Paulson' - Losing a bet on purpose.

A 'Barney Frank' - Accidentally swallowed his partner's balls.

A "Chris Cox" - The regulations are sufficient.